I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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