I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
