My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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