lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
