when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
