its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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