So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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