You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
