he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
