It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
