Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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