But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
not ubering you a puppy
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
