It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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