I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
