I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
