I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
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