hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
