Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Randomize
