no. you can't hotbox the world.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
