Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
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he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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