Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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