I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize