it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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