I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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