He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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