you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
