bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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