My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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