I don't think brook has ever known best
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
