After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
