went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
