Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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