I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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