No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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