Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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