he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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