I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize