Umm I'm too high to move.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
