went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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