some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
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I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
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Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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