I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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