eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
vagina is talking i cant
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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