Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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