i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
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