We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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