I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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