Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
you are never too drunk for berry picking
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
