Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
