ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
