yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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