How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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