Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
