The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
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Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
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what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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