girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
