ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
