I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
