I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Floor bacon is actually really good
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize